Kitty sees a lion in the mirror


"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow."
- Alice Walker
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"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not our circumstances."
- Martha Washington
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"It is the friends that you can call at 4am that matter."
- Marlene Dietrich

  A dove and its reflection in a calm pool

Finding Ourselves

We all have hang-ups, guilt and doubts about ourselves and how we are living our lives. Finding Ourselves is where I want to help you see inside yourself. Each time I will pick a topic that I see that many of you are asking about, doing or don't understand. I want to teach you why this behavior is happening, what brings it on, what is behind the behavior and how you might find positive ways to handle your lack of control, your frustration, pain and confusion.

Remember your 'behaviors' are 'symptoms' not causes. I want you to remember no matter what you are doing, have done or are thinking of doing it is not your 'fault', because you learned how to react. This is not 'you'. But now you are growing up and you are responsible for all of your actions and the consequences they bring. And you will, no matter what you think, pay for your actions one way or another. Learn how to make your consequences work for you so you can be and get what you want. You can have so much power over your life it is amazing; the difference in a winner and a loser is how you see and act on your behavior.

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Living Within The Spirit

I was telling a friend of mine the other day that I had nothing in my life that I felt guilty about. This is quite a statement when I thought about it. I would like to share it with you. When I was younger I was doing something, I dont remember what, and at that moment I thought to myself "it is pretty simple how to decide to live my life as far as right and wrong." I thought: everything I do is seen by God, no matter what your concept of God is. God is everywhere and therefore everything you do is already known. Now if I believe that there is nothing more important than my spiritual self, if I believe that my spiritual side sees everything I do, then as long as I measure everything I do against the belief that whatever I do God sees and if I am willing to do it in front of this most important part of my life, God, then any other measurement is unimportant.Now this has worked for me in many ways, but the two most important ways that I want to share with you is that because of this belief I dont ever do anything that I cant do in front of God. Now that doesnt make me any Saint believe me, and I have many talks with God and have tried to "rationalize" some things so I could do them. But it has always made me stop before I do anything and think it through. I feel just doing that has stopped me from doing many spontaneous things that as I look back could have hurt me or someone else. I don't have any guilt because of this belief also. I have to work things through in my mind and my heart before I act on them so this also makes me take a hard look at myself several times a day sometimes and it also makes me focus on my spiritual growth constantly. I dont find that bad at all. It has helped me grow so much.The second thing living by this little unsuspecting thought that I had so many years ago, is that having God as my conscience took the power out of anything external in my life and put the power back into me. I never have had anyone I believed in or could make me do anything I didnt believe in or could make me feel less of myself. There is no one who could walk into a room and make me nervous except God. I dont have the need to impress anyone or to be intimidated by anyone because the only really important entity in my life is God.That has saved me from many a wrong turn. Again I am no angel, I have fallen into loving the wrong person and trusting what someone has said to me and proved to be not true and of course that hurt me terribly. But on an overall scale giving my power back to me and only measuring what is right and wrong for me in my life by what I think God would approve of has been of great benefit to me.
The belief that something isnt wrong unless we get caught well, I think you already have been caught the minute you do something. Now if you place your power outside of yourself in the government, the law, or another person like your mate and measure what you do against "getting caught" then you place yourself in many dangers and regrets.I really dislike regret because there is no way to go back and change it. You have to work it through and then I dont know if we really ever do get over the regret. We can forgive ourselves and grow from our mistakes and anything that helps us grow is good for us. But I have found that processing everything I do before I do it against God means I am able to learn and grow from the process itself. I dont have to follow through and do the behavior to learn it was a mistake and grow from that mistake.I later learned from a therapist that I was reading about when I was studying, that it is a therapeutic technique to help the client process something they are thinking about doing that is "iffy" and then if they are able to process it before they act on their emotions, they can learn from the visualization and processing of that behavior and never follow through with the behavior. She also said if the person did eventually act on this behavior the regret was much worse because if we hesitate about a behavior it usually is wrong for us.
We all have a dark side but we dont have to act on the parts of us that are shadowed by that dark side. We can think our dark thoughts and visualize them and get what we need from that without acting out that darkness.I keep taking you back to my main theme empowerment, you being in control of your life and taking your power back.
These bits of thoughts I give you are to challenge you and just by doing that you will work it through in your mind and find your truth about each challenge. This is enough conscious work that your subconscious will work through your issues and bring you back to yourself. In time you will be in control of your life without even knowing it. Until one day you will use that power and stop cold in your tracks and know at that moment that you have found your power and then you will know it will never leave you again.
I remember when that moment came to me as clear as if it were yesterday. It works and it lasts and it is yours for the taking.
Find your higher power no matter what you decide it is. You have to have something larger than yourself to believe in. This is the first step, the foundation to any belief system. You can not go anywhere, control anything or change anything until you have a basis from which you believe all things have evolved from.
God Bless us all

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